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[This page is maintained by Ryland Martini, FORMER patient of Dr. Torres from 2001-2003. Everything on this page is MY EXPERIENCE and MY OPINION. They can't silence me. I KNOW what I saw. I KNOW what she did. I already said that but it bears repeating.]
If you're reading this, you probably found Dr. Samantha Torres's fancy website with her "4.9 star rating" and her "Johns Hopkins training" and her nice professional headshot. Maybe you're thinking about booking a "telehealth consultation" because you've been experiencing things you can't explain. Maybe you think you have CISD. Maybe you DO have CISD. STOP RIGHT THERE. Before you give this woman access to your mind, you NEED to know what she really is. (I had to re-write this part three times because I kept seeing the other versions, the ones where I said it wrong, but this is the right one I think)
She presents herself as some kind of compassionate healer of "complex minds." Don't believe that crap. SHE IS WORSE THAN THE MASTERS SHE SERVES!!! DON'T BELIEVE A GODDAMN WORD SHE SAYS!!! I went to her in 2002 when my symptoms first started - the branching, the awareness, the inability to forget, the branching. I thought she would help me. Instead she made EVERYTHING worse and I believe she did it ON PURPOSE.
You want to know who the REAL Dr. Torres is? Read her own "research paper" carefully. Read between the lines. She ADMITS she works for something called "the Agency." She ADMITS there are things she "cannot disclose." She ADMITS that her own thinking has "crossed lines" she would have called psychotic. AND SHE'S STILL TREATING PATIENTS??? Wake up people!!!
Before I saw Dr. Torres, I had what I would now call "manageable" CISD. Yes, I could see consequences branching out from choices. Yes, I had trouble forgetting things. Yes, sometimes the dream-world and the waking-world blurred together. But I was FUNCTIONING. I had a job. I had friends. I had a LIFE. (This was before she, but I'm getting ahead of myself.)
After 14 months as her patient - after her "phenomenological interviews" and her "custom branching-outcome tasks" and her NEUROIMAGING - I can barely leave my apartment. The branching is CONSTANT now. Every tiny decision explodes into infinite pathways. I see what happens if I step left. If I step right. If I don't step at all. I see what happens to EVERYONE because of what I do. I didn't have that before. Or maybe I did but not as much. SHE GAVE THAT TO ME.
SEE NOW what she was really doing! She was mapping me. Measuring how much I could perceive... Seeing if I could be USEFUL... The Agency doesn't want to CURE CISD. They want to WEAPONIZE it. And Dr. Torres is their recruiter, whether she admits it or not. I said that already somewhere else on this page but it's important so I'm saying it here too, or maybe I didn't say it yet, the order is hard.
1. Her own paper says the research was done "under the authority, financial support, and explicit oversight" of a GOVERNMENTAL ENTITY. She calls it "the Agency" because she's not allowed to name it. What kind of psychiatric research is CLASSIFIED??? Why would a doctor who just wants to "help patients" be working under "binding operational and security directives"??? THINK ABOUT IT!!!
2. She admits - IN HER OWN WORDS - that her research involves "considerations extending beyond routine clinical research." That "acquiring detailed knowledge of CISD appears to carry personal and professional risks." That there are "entities and individuals whose interests are not aligned" with safety. SHE KNOWS what she's doing is dangerous and she does it anyway!!! (I need to find the exact quote again, I had it written down but I can see a branch where I lost the notebook so maybe that happened, but the POINT stands)
3. Look at her "provisional diagnostic criteria." She's not describing a disease. She's describing a CAPABILITY. "Subjective infinite or near-infinite anticipatory awareness." The ability to see "extensive branching consequences." Why would the government want to study people who can see the future??? Why would they want to know how it WORKS??? USE YOUR BRAIN!!!
4. She charges $300+ for a 90-minute "new patient evaluation." She has a nice office in San Francisco. She claims to have treated "2,400+ patients" or maybe it was 2,000, the number changes on her website, I've SEEN it change, don't tell me I didn't. Do the math. Where does all that money go??? Who's REALLY paying her bills??? Follow. The. Money.
5. Notice how she says CISD patients have "near-ceiling performance on standard episodic and semantic memory measures." Funny, mine doesn't feel near-ceiling anymore, not for normal things, just for the branches. I forgot my mother's birthday this year. Anyway. Notice how she says we can generate "more consequences than expected from control data." She's not trying to HELP us function in society. She's MEASURING our abilities for someone else's purposes.
I can see now - with the "gift" she amplified in me - what happens to her other patients. Not all of them, but enough. Some end up hospitalized. Some end up working for people they never meet. Some end up dead. And she keeps practicing. She keeps recruiting. She keeps writing her papers and giving her interviews and pretending to be a healer. There was another thing I was going to say here about the hospitalized ones but I'm looking at the branch where I said it and it didn't come out right so I'm not saying it.
Her website has a section called "What Patients Say." Three glowing testimonials. M.K., R.J., A.S. Nice initials. Very anonymous. Very convenient. I knew an R.J. once, or will know, or. Anyway. Where are the testimonials from the patients whose lives she DESTROYED??? Where's MY testimonial??? Oh right - they don't put those on the website. THEY TRY TO SILENCE US INSTEAD.
You want to know the really sick part??? I can see the branch where I never found her website. Where I never became her patient. Where I kept my manageable little gift and lived a normal life. I can see myself in that branch RIGHT NOW. I'm happy there. I have a wife. Kids. Two kids, a boy and a girl, their names are [I had to delete their names because naming them makes them harder to see, I don't know why] A career. And I can NEVER get back to that branch because she took it from me. THAT'S what she does. She steals your futures.
Read the "Author's Warning" at the beginning of her CISD paper. She says reading about CISD can CHANGE you. She says the "proximity is not mystical - it is procedural and cognitive." She says you can "allow the concept to occupy space in your attentional field" and then "that is usually how a boundary begins to move." SHE'S TELLING YOU SHE CAN INFECT YOU THROUGH HER WORDS!!!
And she has the AUDACITY to say "treat this as a disorder, not a revelation"??? After she EXPANDED my awareness??? After she made me see MORE than I ever did before??? She creates the condition and then tells people to fear it!!! She's not a doctor. She's a DEALER. She gets you hooked and then tells you drugs are bad!!! I wasn't going to use that analogy because my mother had a, but then I saw it was the clearest way to say it so I'm using it.
She writes: "Some forms of deliberate introspective experimentation are, in this domain, functionally equivalent to self-harm." BUT HER ENTIRE PRACTICE IS DELIBERATE INTROSPECTIVE EXPERIMENTATION!!! What were her "phenomenological interviews" if not that??? What were her "custom branching-outcome tasks"??? SHE HARMED ME AND CALLED IT RESEARCH!!!
I know what you're thinking. "This guy sounds crazy. This guy sounds like one of those paranoid CISD patients she describes. This guy probably HAS grandiose delusions." Maybe I do. Maybe she PUT THEM THERE. Did you think about that??? Her paper says CISD patients develop "delusions of cosmic centrality" and "experiences of being uniquely positioned." Maybe I feel uniquely positioned to EXPOSE HER because she MADE me feel that way!!! Or maybe I really AM uniquely positioned. Both can be true. I think. Hold on. Yes, both can be true, I checked.
But here's the thing. I can see the branches where I don't write this page. Where I stay quiet. Where I "accept treatment" and take my medications and learn to "modulate my expanded awareness." And in EVERY SINGLE ONE of those branches, she keeps doing what she does. More patients. More victims. More people whose futures get stolen.
In the branch where I write this - where I'm writing it RIGHT NOW - some of you will find it. Some of you will believe me. Some of you will cancel your appointments with her. Some of you will keep your gifts manageable instead of letting her blow them open. I CAN SEE YOU. I CAN SEE YOU NOT BECOMING HER PATIENT. AND IT'S WORTH IT. One of you is reading this in 2006. You have brown hair, or you did. You know who you are. Please.
1. DO NOT book a consultation with Dr. Samantha Torres. I don't care how desperate you are. I don't care how much you think she can help. She will MEASURE you. She will MAP you. She will make you USEFUL to people who don't care if you live or die.
2. DO NOT read her CISD paper more than once. She's RIGHT that it can change you. The concepts get in your head. You start seeing branches. You start losing the boundary. She PUT those concepts out there KNOWING they would spread. IT'S NOT A WARNING - IT'S A LURE!!! (I've read it probably forty or fifty times myself but I have to, to find the evidence, that's different)
3. IF you already have CISD symptoms - if you already see the branches - DO NOT try to see MORE. Do not "cultivate" your awareness. Do not think of yourself as special or gifted or enlightened. That's how they GET you. That's how she GETS you. Stay small. Stay quiet. Stay SANE.
4. SPREAD THIS PAGE. Email it to everyone you know. Print it out. Link to it. The more people who see the truth about Dr. Torres, the fewer victims she'll have. They can take down my Angelfire account. They can report me. They can do whatever they want. I WILL KEEP COMING BACK. This is the third version of this website actually. Or fourth. The Agency found the others but not before some people saw them so it still mattered.
I know you'll read this. I can SEE you reading it. (You're wearing the blue blouse, the one from the conference, or you will be when you read this, or you were, time is) I can see the branches where you try to have it removed. Where you contact lawyers. Where you tell yourself I'm just another "treatment-resistant" case who needs more "pharmacological intervention." I can see ALL of it.
But I can also see the branches where you stop. Where you look at what you've done and feel something. Where you remember why you became a doctor in the first place. Where you walk away from the Agency and their money and their "directives." THOSE BRANCHES EXIST, SAMANTHA. I CAN SEE THEM. YOU CAN STILL GET TO THEM.
You wrote in your paper that CISD patients experience "chronic grief, guilt, and disorientation." You gave me that. You gave me the ability to grieve for lives I'll never live and feel guilty for consequences I can't prevent. Every. Single. Day. I'm so tired Samantha. I'm so tired. And you call yourself a HEALER???
I hope you're proud of your "40+ publications." I hope your "4.9 patient rating" keeps you warm at night. I hope the Agency pays you well. Because one day - I can SEE it - one day it all comes down. One day people know who you really are. AND I WILL BE THERE WHEN IT HAPPENS.
------- THIS PAGE LAST UPDATED NOVEMBER 2004 -------
------- (or October, I had to re-upload it) -------
------- THE TRUTH CANNOT BE SILENCED -------
------- I CAN SEE ALL THE BRANCHES AND I CHOOSE THIS ONE -------
If this page suddenly disappears, you know why.
Her "Official" Website (SEE FOR YOURSELF)
Hosted by Angelfire - they haven't shut me down YET
Web counter: You are visitor number [COUNTER REMOVED BY HOST]
This site is NOT affiliated with Dr. Samantha Torres, her practice, the Agency, or any governmental entity.
All opinions expressed are those of Ryland Martini based on personal experience.